This is something I have always thought about myself and as I pondered it God revealed some things that I will share with you. My mother passed away when I was 34 years old already married and with at the time a 4 year old and a 1 year old. I remembered how angry and hurt I was. As I started to talk about my children not having their grandmother around and my not being able to call my mother for advice as I use to, it suddenly dawned on me that my husband who was comforting me lost his mother when he was only 12 years old. Although the pain was still there I started to thank God that I had the opportunity to have her for 34 years, when as in the case of my husband some had theirs for only 12 years, some for maybe 5 years and then some who never had the opportunity of knowing their mother.
Being a Mother without having had a Mother
There are those of you who may not have had their birth mother, but were blessed with a mother figure who tried to fill that gap, whether a grandmother, adopted parent, foster mother, a big sister or other relative. Then there may be a few who as painful as it may have been literally raised themselves, with those daily struggles for survival.
Now here you are looking back at the child you raised, or the child that you are still raising, you no doubt have many questions as to the job you did, or the one you are doing. Was it right or is it right?
Let us rethink this– first start to thank God that he chose your womb in spite of everything else to place the gift of life. If He did be assured that you are capable of being that mother that God desires. Remember that God is the only one that gives life- God does not make any mistakes. He did not create this life within you and then said oops, I made a mistake, she can’t manage. There is no oops in God!! Next thank God for the people who helped you and tried to be a mother to you. Then forgive your mother who may have abandoned you and ask God’s forgiveness for whatever anger and bitterness that you may have if you lost your mother at a critical period in your life. You may not even realize how angry you have been. This certainly is a hindrance to your relationship with God and subsequently a hindrance to being the mother He has called you to be.
The fact that you are reading this means that it is not too late to start doing what is right. Break this generational pattern and start to earnestly pray and seek God’s guidance. Tell yourself the BUCK stops with you. The moment you make an effort God steps in. God did not part the red sea until the Israelites stepped in.
In His Service,
Vilma